NUMBER PLEASE
“Number, please.” “Yes, ah . . . may I have long distance?” “One moment. Connecting with long distance.” “Long distance. Number, please.” “Hello, I’d like to talk with…” “Your number, please.” “Yes, I don’t have a number but I’d like to talk with … Jesus.” “I’m sorry, his line is busy at the moment.” “Oh, I see. May I hold?” “We don’t advise it. There are many others waiting to speak with him. Is there anyone else you’d like to speak with?” “Well, I don’t know…” “Saint Peter is available.” “No, I don’t think so.” “How about Lucifer? His line is free. Shall I connect?” “Is this Heaven or Hell I’m speaking with?” “Take your pick, the phone company is not prejudiced.” “I think I’ll stick with Heaven.” “How about God. His line is free.” “It is?” “Yes. Shall I put you through?” “Isn’t it unusual for his line to be free?” “No, not really.” “Why is that do you think?” “Personally, I think folks are afraid to talk with Him.” “Well...