JT EVERGREEN SHORT STORIES

It finally dawned on me that my life was deteriorating into a Harold and Maude film noir. Conforming to what everyone wanted me to be was driving me nuts. Half the time I didn’t know if I was Harold or Maude.  And being both at the same time was like sticking my finger into a light socket and flicking the switch to on. I tried camouflaging my life by playing the part of Vivian Pickles, Harold’s mother, but that didn’t work very well.  I lack her stoic joie de vivre. Conforming to those around you is a slippery slope with an uncertain ending and usually not a pleasant one. Yes, I know – I have mommy issues. But, so what. Most people do … especially if you’re Jewish. I wanted an outlet for expressing my true self without being redressed by my relatives, especially my mother. That’s when I got the idea of becoming an actor. The stage was the perfect place to be outrageous, to be sad, to be happy, angry, and to be able to express both the masculine and feminine aspects ...

Marge Benson circled and underlined the last of three yard sales in the newspaper. It was a block yard sale which meant there would be lots of goodies and hopefully a treasure or two. She folded the newspaper, drank the last of her coffee and placed the empty cup in the sink. “Okay, girls, let’s go.” “Mom, do we have to?” “Clarise isn’t available to babysit so you're stuck with your mother. I know this is cruel and unusual punishment but there’s nothing to be done about it. Where’s your sister?” “She’s next door, hiding.” “From you or me?” “From you and your yard sales. Don’t you have enough dolls?” “It’s my hobby ... the one thing I enjoy doing besides keeping you and your sister out of trouble.  Someday you’ll have babies of your own and you’ll be begging me for a few of them.” “But you won’t let us have them, right?” “Right. Okay, here’s a promise. Let’s do the three yards sales without any more complaining, and I’ll do anything you want the rest of the ...