JT EVERGREEN SHORT STORIES

“Lynn, why are you hitting me?” “For not telling me sooner, you jackass.” “I don’t know how.” “Kelly, for Christ’s sake. There are three very simple words that cover it.” “And those words are? … Let go, you’re hurting me.” “You know what words they are. Now say them.” “Let go. OW!” “No. Not until you say them.  Come on.” “Okay, okay, just let go.” “What’s the first word?” “I.” “Very good.  Now, what’s the second word?” “OW!” “Ow is not the second word. I’m gonna count to three and then I’m really gonna hurt you.” “Love.” “And the last word, you stupid … stop crying for God’s sake.” “You.” “Why didn’t you say those words months ago? Please, stop crying.” “I was afraid.” “Of what?” “Afraid you might laugh at me.” “Kelly, you’re my best friend. I’d never laugh at you.” “Yeah, but beating the crap out of me doesn’t seem to bother you.” “That’s different.” “No, it’s not. I don’t understand why you’re so angry.” “Because.” “...

As told by Hank Dawson I thought I had it all figured out . . . falling in love that is. When it finally happened, I was clueless – totally unprepared, and I proceeded to make a bigger fool out of myself than I thought possible. In retrospect, love slowly creeps up on its hands and knees until you suddenly realize you’re up to your ears – no … up to your eyes in love – and then it’s too late; you're hopelessly at the mercy of one of nature's greatest forces. All kidding aside, it was one of the worst and most exciting experiences in my life, and I’m certain I would never survive it a second time. I thought it would be like having Doris Day smiling and singing Love Someone in the background. Instead, it turned out to be more like Louis Armstrong blowing that damned horn of his and laughing his ass off; singing Why do Fools Fall in Love , punctuated with Edith Piaf serenading me in French which didn’t make any sense, but that’s how I saw it. And those cute l...